Wow...has it really been an entire year since i wrote last? I guess it just goes to show that i have been incredibly busy. Since there is no way that i could ever update everything in the past year, here are the highlights of whats happening right now:
TRAUMA
I see a lot of it. WAAAAAAYYYY more than i thought i would see. I work all the time, often ending up with 16 hr days due to medevacs arriving late plus a slightly ridiculous commute. Some days i feel like i've become a bit jaded as now when i read the injuries a triple amputee with frag/shrapnel/5+ woundvacs doesn't even phase me...it's expected. Pretty much all my patients are IED Blasts and though they look terrifying attached to every type of cord, machine, and monitor possible i've become incredibly comfortable with taking care of them. In a sad way, they're all the same. The brain trauma is the worst. I've seen quite a few gun shot wounds to the head and many many blast trauma head wounds where we remove most of the skull and place a catheter in the brain to drain excess cerebral spinal fluid and blood and to monitor increasing pressures. In a sick way i love the neuro patients but they are also the hardest to deal with. I can handle any patient with wounds if at the end of the day, they are still themselves....families are around 24/7 here in the ICU and it's heartbreaking to explain that their son is not going to make it or that a hand squeeze doesn't really mean that he's responsive but rather a reflex meaning his brain isn't functional. I've had some pretty rough days where i wonder why i chose/beg to have this position...days when ive had to explain to a four year old why his dad isn't responding to him...days when a neuro-surgeon tears up at the side of the bed after trying for an entire shift to stabilize the bleed in a previously responsive soldiers brain..nights where i didn't leave a patients bedside because they were to afraid to close there eyes and see the blast that took their friends over and over. Even to me, this sometimes sounds a bit melodramatic...i feel like you become slightly hardened on the inside when you deal with this day after day and must be a source of knowledge and support to grief-stricken families. Sometimes the long ride home after work is all i really need to just be alone and think...and sometimes i do lose it...usually when i least expect it..:) it's impossible to not be affected by all of it, no matter how strong i may be.
But enough with the depressing talk! For all it's stress and emotional drain, i couldn't ask for a better job. I am doing EXACTLY what i wanted to do when i joined the military and i am a far better nurse for it. Nowhere else can you see the kind of trauma and new interventions/studies than right where i'm at. So though the days are long and i feel like all i do is eat, sleep and work at times...i feel incredibly blessed and so thankful for the opportunity.
Moving on
All that being said...it's about time for a change. I've been here in DC for over 2 yrs and in the Air Force for almost three! I went to talk to my chief nurse about my next career move and i was really psyched to go to Germany. However that was out of the question at this time because i need to ground deploy and then become CCATT certified (all good things but not happening at this time). My next choice was travis afb in california as they have a new open heart cardiothoracic icu opening and lets just be honest..it's california! ;) However, that also was not in the cards d/t military considerations such as TOS (time on station). To keep it short and sweet, i was just informed by my lovely chief nurse that this AF LT is starting a new adventure in Anchorage, Alaska at the end of the Summer!!!!!!!!!!!! I am sooooo excited and trying to not get ahead of myself until i see my actual orders. It is quite official as of now, but as ive learned in my short military career...everything is subject to change. :)
I think i can, i think i can
In addition to my daily repertoire of "eat, sleep, work," i've decided to add "RUN" to the mix! I've been desperate to get back in shape again and really would like to enjoy running. I don't know how many races i've signed up for in the past and found an excuse not to run. Not this time! My friend Tiffany and i have been training for the Disney Princess half marathon for the past several weeks and i can finally say that i feel like i can do it! I've had a few great 8 mile runs and for the first time in my life i feel as if i could be an actual runner some day! :) Race day is fast approaching: Feb 27 and we are running through the Magic Kingdom in hot pink tutus and running tights! It will be a much needed break and i'm so excited.
In addition to the 1/2 marathon, I was INCREDIBLY lucky to win the cherry blossom lottery entry! Hundreds of thousands of runners enter a lottery to run the DC cherry blossom 10 miler every year where they shut down the streets of DC and you run around all the fabulous sights. Rich and i put our names in on a whim and both got selected! April is going to be an exciting month for us because we have both the run to look forward to and another week of just exploring DC...it will have been four months since we've seen each other last. Rich is then deploying to Qatar yet again and i will most likely be in Alaska by the time he returns. :) Our life is ever full of surprises but i wouldn't have it any other way.
Well that's the meat of it...i will try to be better with keeping everyone updated on my life in the coming months!
