come visit!

I miss everyone soooooooooooooo much! Even though I'm loving my job (minus the night shift which kicks my ass), and it's beautiful here, i'm starting to get so lonely. If anyone has time off to visit (esp the weekend of thanksgiving) i'll pay for a plane ticket! Love and miss you all so much!

one of my favorite places on the beach-the pier

flexibility..:)

This weekend i'm learning the concept of flexibility: i found out on Thursday that i'd be working night shift in the ER Friday, Saturday and Sunday instead of day shift. Just a little bit of a time shift! :) Last night was actually pretty tame, so i went home early but i had so much caffeine in my system that i could barely fall asleep! I went for a 2 hour workout this afternoon, and it was a beautiful fall day in florida....sunny with a perfect breeze. :) countdown: 7 days till i see Rich!

mmm mmm good

What a difference a new set of wheels, a little bit of time and great weather can make. Today i spent the day driving around the Gulf of Mexico in my car, and loving every minute of it. It's so gorgeous here. I also am really loving the ER, as i'm finally starting to feel like a competent nurse again. It was frustrating there for a bit, but i worked my way back into it, am feeling confident, and once again renewed my ambition to be the best nurse i can be and have a great career. lol..i just re-read that paragraph and realized how cheezy and canned that sounds!

Insight: Being truly on my own here as show me more about myself than i really could have imagined. I've found that i am incredibly confident, self-assured woman, but at times (and lately more often than not), i need to be told that! It's such a new feeling to be a bit insecure about relationships, nursing skill, and myself in general, and i don't like it! Though i've pretty much perfected the appearance of it all, sometimes the facade wears thin, when the ones you love and know you the best are so far out of reach. I feel sorry for Rich as he has to put up with me at these times of insecurity, and bears the brunt of my loneliness. I miss everybody so much!!! but i am okay here on my own.

In other news...i just found this hilarious...I had assumed my credit score was pretty much diddly squat after my fabulous college spending ways...but lo and behold my last few months of perfection have payed off..i'm a 750! yay ...:) incentive to keep on moving up!

interesting observations:
-the sound and sight of f15 and f16's taking off in the afternoon and night right over my head never gets old
-there are approximately 6 million (okay probably 12) waffles houses in Fort Walton beach and Destin...who eats at waffle house?
-sweet tea is a fabulous alternative to Diet coke..and it's EVERYWHERE here in the south.
-i absolutely LOVE the water everywhere here..it's fun to see on my gps that i'm driving of two huge bodies of water at almost all times.
-I actually prefer to wear abu's and my stethescope instead of scrubs...i tried it for the first time yesterday and the pockets are so incredibly handy..plus i noticed the doctors have a way easier time pronouncing my name when it's plastered across my chest than microscopic on just my nametag. :)

A bit Surreal...

I did it! I bought a car! After a few weeks of research and teaching myself important facts to know about buying a new car from a dealer..today i purchased the 2009 Nissan Altima Coupe. :) Lets just say i was pinching myself as i drove home from the dealer with my new fully-loaded vehicle. It's a bit surreal to think that i can actually afford something so nice..i kept thinking that it wasn't really mine. I was quite proud of myself for doing my research though. I managed to get about $3,000 knocked off the msrp and payed the dead invoice price..nice! :) It was a different feeling to actually know what i was talking about when 'negotiating' pricing. I had my reservations about buying a brand new car and going from practically no bills to a car loan and insurance, etc..but after going over the numbers over and over, i realized that i could in fact afford it, and i wasn't adding wrong! :) School is starting to pay off! I will take pictures tomorrow and try to upload them, but i'm just gonna say it: this car is pretty darn sexy. :)

In other news, i'm really liking working in the ER where you never know what you're gonna get and i'm constantly busy. I started off my morning the other day with a patient who snorted cocaine and had a posterior nose bleed...gushing everywhere..he was hep c and Hiv positive...fun stuff, and ended my day with a spontaneous pneumo! :) And i was afraid i wouldn't learn anything in the Airforce.

what else? Hmm...i'm kind of in a giddy/cloud nine state at the moment, and to top it off, Rich is coming to visit me in 2 weeks...i'm completely ecstatic. I didn't think it would be so difficult to be away from someone you love, but we're going on 3 months without seeing each other! Please excuse my over excessive use of exclamation points. I am just extremely excited about life at the moment. I have the weekend off and can actually do something besides sit in my room! yay. Alright..time to stop exclaiming..love y'all..

Finally Working

This lil pup is exhausted! :) I finally got a taste of my 12 hour shifts this weekend in the ER. It was a really great experience though, and i'm excited that my perception of the hospital was in fact WRONG. I had over 50 patients myself each day, and the range of issues was insane. I had everything from little infants, to 90 yr olds...pregnancy issues, runny noses, broken bones, suicidal patients, vomiting, big lacerations, eye ulcers, thyroid storms..etc etc. I like it because it made me realize how much i forgot about (especially peds!), and it's a great review. Today i have the day off...so i'm sleeping and figuring out more car info. Counting down the days till Rich comes to see me!!!! p.s. if anyone wants to come to Florida..feel free!

The good, the bad, and the downright crazy

Life in the Airforce has given me plenty to think about career-wise! This week i've had plenty of opportunities to discover all the fabulous options that i have to further my career. I am really excited about everything available to me. I'm definetly going to be working on a med-surg floor for at least a year-possibly two, but after that, i can apply for a critical care 1 year school at Lackland (trauma center) and it will be paid for by the Air Force. I can also concurrently obtain my masters through AFIT and it will be paid for and will not cause any extra years to be added on to my commitment! That being said, if i decide i'm going to stay in anyway, i can go to school full time, have it paid for as well as a stipend for books, and also continue to receive all my pay. It's all really interesting and exciting...There are so many things i could do! I've met so many nurses who are captains/colonels/majors who are all nurses but all have taken different paths with their careers. Very cool.

Interestingly enough though..i may not want to be a flight nurse like i've said i wanted to be. I still may go through with it, but as i learn more and more about SERE (survival escape resistance evasion) school that i must attend, i wonder if i'm strong enough to do it. I don't mean physically, SERE school is all about creating a vile, hostage environment and doing everything possible to get you to crack. The things they do are quite graphic, classified to a point, and really not something to discuss in a blog. I know i'm an incredibly strong person and COULD do it, but am not sure i really want to subject myself to something so emotionally and mentally devastating.

on a brighter note..i finally had my first day of DOING something. Today i was in the lab for 8 hours and did venipuncture on about 40 people. It was great! I find it ironic how i'm extremely comfortable with critical patients on ventilators and multiple drips and lines, but you stick me in front of a healthy person and ask me to draw their blood and i get butterflies! I now feel extremely comfortable with the skill, and love the fact that MOST of my patient were healthy young adults. I stress most because we also have a lot of retirees and families that come in and with that comes the usual health problems, fragile veins, etc. All in all, i felt great with how easy it was and how confident i felt.

Tomorrow i have a day off! I'm going to be researching my finances, car options, etc..and just relaxing and getting caught up with everything. Life is good, and i'm so happy i got to catch up with my lovely Heather. I miss all my girls and the family of course!

drives like a dream

Today i finally understand why people get so excited about vehicles. To be honest, i've never really been all that interested in cars besides the fact that they get you from place to place and sometimes look nice. No more...:) today i test drove a bunch of cars..sports cars to be exact. I really had NO idea what kind of vehicle i wanted so i decided the best way to figure it out is to test them out. Hence, i found myself this afternoon gingerly steering a 350Z and multiple other powerful engines out of dealers lots and quickly experiencing the thrill that results from yielding so much power. That being said, i also discovered fairly quickly that many of these two seaters were just impractical for my use, and also a bit scary to navigate due to decreased visability. And then i found the car that i may just continue to drool over at the thought of. It was actually the first car i test drove and the last one as well. The Nissan Ultima Coupe. Wow...i wasn't completely sold on it until i drove that thing. It is by far the smooothest ride i've ever been in and navigates like a dream. Compared to the other cars, it felt like luxury and rode like it was double it's price. Luckily, i had my friend Mike with me who used to be a car salesman and managed to piss of the dealers enough initially to have them lower the price to the invoice, and subsequently knock of a few G's for me. Nice. :) Sooo......i am sitting here crunching numbers, mulling it all over, determining taxes, financing, insurance, and all the fun stuff that goes along with a huge decision such as this. I am in no hurry to jump the gun here, but i am definetly loving this car and the peace of mind it would give me in my travel decisions. I welcome any comments/suggestions/criticisms about this car...I was also looking at a few others but the more i researched and thought about it...this one pretty much has me hooked. We'll see how i feel after looking into it a bit more. I seriously feel like pinching myself when i think of the fact that i could own something that nice and not have to worry about driving two hours without it breaking down. lol...how quickly my life has changed!

FYI

Because a few of you asked...to actually view my blog and not just get the email..go to: http://karaflage.blogspot.com

interesting quote i heard today:

"Apologizing is not an admission of guilt but an act of compassion."

As soon as i can a faster internet connection, i'll post more pictures.

All grown up?

One week down in my post-cot training, i officially feel like an adult! Many times throughout my college years i remember feeling as if i was pretty much "grown-up." How wrong i was! Not to say that i know all that much more now, but talking about retirement, IRA's, Life insurance, buying a care, finding apartments, changing residency, etc etc etc..i am slightly overwhelmed and trying not to be superwoman and do it all at once. I'm taking Rich's advice and focusing on one thing at a time. :) It's really surreal to make well thought out decisions about my financial status that will impact my retirement 20 years from now! I do have to admit that the military does offer me resources for free that i probably wouldn't have accessed had i just gotten a job at a normal hospital.

Notice i said retirement in 20 years? My initial thinking going into this whole experience was that i was only doing my six years and then hightailing it out of here. Now i'm not so sure. Financially, and benefit wise, if i love my job, it would behoove me to stay in 20 years. I would retire with my pay grade + benefits and whatever i had for a TSP and IRA. This decision is so far off, especially because i have yet to actually do any nursing care, but it was an interesting thought. How quickly my mind changes!

That being said, i was a little dis-illusioned and frustrated this week when we toured the hospital here. It's a beautiful and LARGE facility but the patient load and acuity level was pathetic. The clinics were busy but the ER/ICU/ and floors were dead. I'm a bit worried i'm going to be bored out of my mind here. To be completely honest, i wish i didn't have as much experience as i do, because i knew more than the nurse that was giving us a little run-down on vents and critical care... However, i do know that when i get to D.C. it's supposed to be better and i will be able to talk to my chief nurse and hopefully convince her to move me quickly to critical care. I have also decided to get my masters for sure, and most likely as a CRNA! I really really want to be a c-cat nurse first though (these are the critical care nurses that fly patients in helicopters, c-130's and from the battlezones to germany). The only down side is that they get deployed quite a bit.

Deployment
Yup...recruitors are pretty much pointless and full of shit. I will get deployed. I don't feel like sugar-coating this for y'all. The good news is that i am unable to be deployed for at least a year as a new air force nurse. It also depends on what "bucket" or "band" i am in when i get to my PCS station (D.C.) This will determine when i am deployed and to where. It could be the Honduras, Germany, Iraq, Afghanistan, etc. To make those of you who are freaking out feel better. The Air Force doesn't really do all that much while deployed...it is apparently pretty cushy..think starbucks, movie theater's etc. to be quite honest, i would be okay with a little excitement, but i'm guessing mom and dad would feel a lot better knowing i'll be safe.

Sorry to worry any of you...just think: it'll be awhile. Now Rich on the other hand....we aren't going to think about that until we need to. On a brighter note, it's really quite beautiful here. Stunning in fact. I'm in a part of florida called the "emerald coast," because of the color of the water. Eglin AFB is very close to Fort Walton and Destin, both which have miles of gorgeous beaches, and tons of stuff to do. I am very much enjoying my time here when i'm not in class. I will be starting shifts next by the end of this week and i'm hoping that i get to do something worthwhile. I do know my first day is in the lab, where i will stick people for 12 hours..yay! :) i could use practice at that.

Issues to resolve eventually:
1.) what kind of car do i want? I have a few ideas but i'm leaning towards an SUV (think nissan xterra or escape) or something fun and sporty (not a stick though...2 hours on the beltway..i don't want a clutch)...or something practical like a honda civic...hmmm.. Any ideas?
2.) Do i want to buy it in Florida, become a Florida resident and not pay taxes? I could also then drive it to D.C. which would help with all the extra uniforms/crap i've accumulated. I don't really want to drive for days alone, when i could spend them visiting Rich and family...Will i be able to fly with all of my stuff...absolutely not..
3.) I need to decide where to live in d.c. Apparently Alexandria is great but becomes a 2 hr commute with beltway traffic. Not worth it!
4.) I've decided to spend Christmas with my amazing boyfriend who has to work..after all no-one deserves to be alone on Christmas! However, i still want to hang with the fam....do i want to do this before or after christmas. I have leave from the 17th-30th of december. I also need to buy a car in that time, if i haven't already. I SHOULD get house-hunting days after i in-process at Andrews but that's never a guarantee.