correction

For the record: in my haste, i failed to actually re-read my message. Katar is actually spelled Qatar, and is in the Middle East near Saudi Arabia and the UAE. Most likely Rich will be at Al Udeid Air Base in Qatar.

one day at a time...

Hello all..I didn't realize how many people actually read my blog updates! I know it's been awhile, but i've been busy and really haven't felt like updating. Where do i begin?

I love Virginia! I really missed autumn last year when i was in Florida and i've loved being able to see the colors change here in VA. Rich and I were able to go hiking in the Shanendoah Valley one day at the beginning of October before the leaves really changed and had an amazing time hiking through the mountains. :)

I love the military! But i hate my job. This past week i went TDY to shepard AFB in texas for CASF (contingency aeromedical staging facility) where i did training for my upcoming deployment. Parts of it sucked, like the lack of sleep, but the week re-affirmed the reason i joined the military and gave me even more inspiration to put my package in for flight nursing (which i will be eligible for by the time i get back from my deployment). I am so not excited about going back to work again...knowing i will be bored out of my mind. Oh well...i have plenty of stuff going on besides work.

I started my Masters, and i hate it! It's really not that bad but i hate writing pointless paper after paper and doing tons of research. I am doing well so far though, and i know it's the right thing to do.

I'm Moving! I'm really sick of living paycheck to paycheck and never getting anywhere with my loans, etc, so one of my friends (another nurse) and i are moving into a two bedroom apartment here. Though i love my little apartment, i will be saving almost $ 800/month and i really can't pass that up. Also, it will be nice to have a roommate when Rich is deployed to Katar and I won't be able to talk to him as much as i do now. :) I move in on the 5th of November, and start saving money in january!

Well that's the quick and dirty..Rich and i are planning on going to AZ the 18th of November-24th and cannot wait to see everyone. Hope this finds everyone happy and health.

it's what time?

Life is winding down!

All of my time-consuming, spend 12 hrs at work on my off days are over! Thank goodness! :) Everything turned out great in the end, as always, and i managed to stress just enough, as always. I ended up getting a lot of one-on-one face time with my commanders and huge kudos from all the management of the hospital. Yay! I am learning more and more in the military and in life, that it is not what you know, It's WHO you know. Cheers to making contacts!

In other new my body is supremely confused at the moment. I am back to night shift and hating it, and have had to switch back to days this week for combat training (more on that later). I would wake up at 2 am, rarin to go and not be able to sleep, then try to go to bed early so i could get up for 5 am and lay there completely unable to get any shut-eye. I am learning to take some fabulous naps however!

This week i had to do combat training for my upcoming deployment, which is somewhat laughable considering i'm not ACTUALLY going anywhere! However, there is a lot of speculation about possible forward deployment to the sandbox. We'll see. Regardless, i had a blast with the training. I spent two days with the security forces, learning how to shoot/take apart and move with an M9 and an M4. In normal ABU/BDU's this is pretty do-able but our second day was field training in a Kevlar helmet, mask,Flak vest and gloves with an m4. I have no idea how our troops shoot accurately and move in all that gear (plus 50+ pounds of other gear)! It was raining and we had to crawl through the grass in fighting formations, and tromp through the mud and trees in the woods, attacking the enemy (paint-ballish bullets). It's crazy how quick you have to move to re-load a new magazine and charge your weapon while ducking fire behind a tree. I loved it, but i would shit my pants if i had to do it for real. The adrenaline just from the exercise is enough for me! Charlie flight, my team that i was the leader of, won every time, not one of us was killed. New calling for me?...lol

For those of you that don't check facebook...Rich and I are back together! We never stopped talking, and when Rich got back from his leave in Michigan he came to visit. We had an amazing time exploring the Luray Caverns in VA ( a must see!) and acting like kids in an English style garden maze. We also went out to dinner with a bunch of my friends here and just enjoyed being together. For some reason we can't get rid of each other! lol..in all honesty, there really isn't anyone else i want to be with, and we realized how great we really are together. :)

Did i mention i hate night shift? It is so incredibly boring here that i couldn't take it anymore and applied for my masters. I was originally going to do a dual masters degree in healthcare administration/mba, but the more i though about it the more it bored the heck out of me. my ultimate dream is to go on humanitarian missions and i'd love to work for the cdc or nih. Sooo...drumroll, i am getting my masters in public health with a concentration in emergency and disaster management. With this i could also potentially switch to the public health service ( i would keep my rank but my deployments would only be 2 weeks at a time,and not in combat zones...something to keep in mind for later in life). I am doing a completely online degree so we'll see how it all pans out...

All in all, life is good, and always changing!

humble pie

My life has been crazy busy lately, as i've been involved with some HUGE events. Mainly functioning as head of multiple committees for the CGOC Combat Dining in, with the Chief of Staff of the Air Force. For those who don't know, he's a four star general and the HEAD of the Air Force. It was a pretty cool experience, and i felt very small and insignificant. :) I also am the project manager for a squadron event that has made me brief all of my commanders in multiple one and one, and group meetings. Intimidating, and a huge deal but i am up to the challenge! I am exhausted and happy to go to nights in September so i can workout, work on my masters, and keep my career on the up and up.

In other news, one of our TSgts came back from Afghanistan a few weeks ago, and finally started talking about his experience. He was embedded with an Army Ranger unit and was the "doc" for an entire battalion. His stories make me proud to be in the military as what he did, is why i joined. Though i'm sure none of you would like to hear it, i would gladly do what he did. I understand in all honesty, i would literally shit myself in the situations he was in, and i am incredible humbled to hear about it. WE do not appreciate the life we have until we experience or hear about the lives of others. Though my life is far from perfect, it's pretty darn phenomenal compared to what it could be. I also have such an incredible disgust and respect for the soldiers who are dying of dehydration while fighting for our lives because the hostile fire is so "hot" that we can't drop water to them. My prayers and thoughts go out to the many amazing men AND WOMEN that i know and love who are currently sacrificing more than people will ever know. I know longer lie to myself and say that joining the Air Force was just a career move, i joined for the experience of taking care of the wounded. I am proud to be a soldier, and i will gladly get deployed.

Optimism is a fleeting feeling

Life is full of dissapointments and let-downs but i feel like my life is more like a roller coaster with amazing highs and devastating lows. I like to think of myself as a hopeless optimist, but in all honestly, i'm struggling to find anything to smile about right now. Well, they do say bad news comes in threes....

1. I finished my application for the critical care fellowship, turned it in, and my commander approved it with a, "this looks great. You should have no problem getting it, you're an excellent candidate." Five minutes later i was told they are no longer waiving the TOS (time on station) requirement and i could no longer apply. Meaning, i will need to rot my brain for another two years at this "hospital" i.e. glorified clinic. Trying to find the motivation to go for my masters....

2. I went to Chicago this past weekend for a weekend with my girlfriends that i hadn't seen in a year. It was so amazing to be with them again, and to feel as if i never left! However, the dark cloud over the whole trip was that i found out i can't be in my best friends wedding anymore because she had to move the wedding due to circumstances beyond her control to when i will be deployed. Though this may not seem like a big deal, it was just hard to take when we've talked about that day for years, and hearing all the fun/amazing details about it was tough knowing i can't actually be there.

3. Rich and i are no longer together. I wish i had something bad to say about him, but in all honestly i still love him more than i thought i could ever love someone. I think i may be dehydrated from crying so much, and i really just want to crawl in bed and not wake up for months. i never thought it would come to this, even though everyone has their disagreements. It just goes to show you that sometimes love isn't enough, and distance can ruin even the strongest of relationships. I still hold out hope that there is some kind of miracle out there, and maybe we can move on from everything, but these also seem to be in short-supply. I know that he still loves me, but i don't know if that's enough to fix whats broken.

One of my friends asked me this weekend if i ever regretted joining the Air force. I like to think i don't. I'm trying to tell myself that life happens no matter what decisions you make, and in the end, i know i made the right choice. It is difficult at times dealing with the bullshit though, when the rest of your world seems to be crumbling around you. I know i tend to be a bit melodramatic at times, and in all honestly im okay, at least no one needs to worry that i'm going to go slit my wrists. Everything is just so fresh and happened at once. I just need some time to convince myself that my life is great. Minus Rich. I can honestly say that i don't think i'll get over that easily. Some of the best times of my life were spent with him and he honestly made me happier than i've ever been. I'm trying to be strong and accept that people need space and time and sometimes things just really might not be meant to be. Everything happens for a reason, whether we like that reason or not. I honestly thought i would marry him and spend the rest of my life happy. Strangely i still see myself with him, and i can't imagine it any other way. It's official, i'm crazy. Such is life.

Summer in the city

I was looking at my blog and i realized that i haven't updated since April! Life is quite good here in muggy DC and i can't really complain.

Work/Deployments
I find my job incredibly easy compared to what i'm used to, but i guess there are positives to this as with any situation. My commander, who most people hate, and i just try to avoid because of my situation, apparently likes me. :) She nominated me for CGOC of the quarter (company grade officer) and put me in for a clinical excellence award! Pretty cool. Though i highly doubt that i will win the award (Lt's never do) it is nice to know that my commander herself nominated me! That will work in my favor someday. In other news, i am deploying in December. But don't worry, it will only be in the DC area. I'm sure none of you would be excited to hear this but i did request to go to Afghanistan but was denied as it was an OB mission (Weird!). Regardless, i will be working with transporting soldiers from the sandbox and Germany and will not be able to take leave for six months, hence "deployment."
Lastly, i am also applying for a critical care fellowship that will start when my deployment ends. Hopefully if i do get accepted and complete my one year of class, i will get my overseas assignment to Germany! :) I have a meeting with my chief nurse tomorrow morning to discuss my interests as i won't meet the Time on station requirement and will have to request a waiver. Cross your fingers!

Honor
Since joining the military, there have been times when i don't feel as if my life has changed at all. However, there are some times when i am undeniably proud to wear my uniform. On saturday, i sucked it up (was emptying my guts all day/night friday) and drove out to Dulles airport to be a part of welcoming 102 WWII veterans to the DC area. They were an honor flight from Wisconsin who had been waiting years to come and see THEIR memorial and many (about 60) were in wheelchairs and on oxygen. To see their faces when they got off the plane and saw us in our uniforms and dozens of people waving flags and cheering was priceless...As some cried, some grasped our hands and some saluted, i got goosebumps and was reminded of some of the reasons i donned this uniform in the first place.

Accident
There was a metro cash today! Two trains collided with 6 people dead and dozens injured. Thankfully i was at work, and the crash was on the red line which i rarely take. However, the news is devastating to a city that depends so heavily on this public transportation system. Crazy!

Summer travel
My little brother Steven is coming to visit and i am beyond ecstatic. I also get to go to Chicago to see some of my best friends at the end of July...it has been over a year since i've seen my girls! I miss you all.

I feel like there is so much more to update, but that is all i have for now! love you all!

The adventures of Rich and Kara

This weekend was so beautiful i couldn't help but think the world would be a happier place if there were more days like these. Saturday Rich and I met in Rocky Mt, NC to steal another 24 hrs together,and had so much fun. We just picked a town and met there, and then drove around and found this huge park along the tar river. It was so beautiful and made us feel like we were back in michigan again! We also had lunch at this cute little fifties style diner on the side of the road, and browsed the bookstore for an hour. It was nice to just hang out and pretend that we lived in the same town. :) The drive back however reminded me that i most definetely live in the city as i went about 10 miles in a 1/2 hour, but it was worth it. I had yet another PT test on thursday and passed as usual, but it inspired me to start running again. Rich and I are both very motivated to get in killer shape again (though he'll have to wait till his sprain heals) and i've been in a great mood. Life is fabulous and i miss you all very much.